The most important thing is even when we are apart, I am still with you -Winnie the Pooh

• You know that feeling when you just miss someone, like you just miss there presence. Like it just feels like a part of you is missing. And you can’t figure out how to make that go away. It’s like when you lose your favorite blanket or you as a child, it’s just missing and you don’t know how to live without it. You try and you try but nothing will every replace that blanket or toy, you can get a new one, exactly like the old one... but it just doesn’t feel the same. It kinda just feels like you are cheating on your other blanket... cause they blanket was YOURS like you took it everywhere, it comforted you. It made you feel whole, and made you feel like you could do anything you wanted to do. Be and astronaut. Be a doctor. Be a teacher. You could be anything. When I was younger I always though that the sky was the limit and that if you had amazing people in your corner, that you could do anything. For me it has always been hard to keep friends. Not because I’m a bald person, but because people just kinda faded out. We didn’t hate each other, we just kinda went on separate paths on our life journey. I have always struggled with that, I have friends that I haven’t been friends with for years... and I still miss them. The thing that sucks the most is it’s those people who I want to talk to. I want to just hug them and laugh with them and be with them. And it’s not because I feel like I can’t make other friends... but I’m very picky with who I choose to be in my corner. I’m very picky about who I fall I love with. I guess you could just say I’m picky all around cause I’m the same way with food too hahaha. Lately, there has been a song that come to mind a lot the past two weeks, it’s called “ Always Been You” by Tenth Avenue North. It talks about Christ, and how he is always there for us. He is always our best friend, our confidant, our listener when we feel like no one is listening. There reason why I am so picky about who I pick to be in my life is because I want people who radiate the light of Christ, who bring that out in me. There is a special person, who at the moment we are kinda in this weird stage and I can’t tell you all how much I miss this person in my life... every single day. Not in a romantic way, just in a best friend way. This person is one of the only people who can’t comfort me in ways that no one else can. And I miss them. And I know right now that it’s apart of gods plan... but it still sucks....and I get that we need to have our space for a second.... but that doesn’t make it any easier. That doesn’t make it feel right when it just feels wrong. And maybe I don’t understand, god works in weird ways. But, if they are reading this... and who knows if they are or not... know that I love you and I care for you, and I miss you so very much. 

love you for always, 

-M